


if only time could stop, even just for a second

by aorivelai



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, War, changlix, indeed i did, it's gonna be pretty damn angsty, let's see if I actually finish this one lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 19:34:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14600199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aorivelai/pseuds/aorivelai
Summary: Where they meet, amongst a death-ridden land, apparent sworn enemies in the midst of a scene of misery, and somehow find love.





	1. First Encounters

~ 1 ~

 

Felix froze and leaves rustled behind him, and movement rattled the trees. His hand instinctively flew to the small dagger that hung by his belt, and when he recovered his senses he whipped around, unsheathing the blade from its sheath and shakily holding it by his chest. He swallowed, eyes darting all about him: left, right, left again, up, down, as he’d been taught so many times during so many episodes of dawn training, back when he’d yawned through it, thought nothing of it. Never really thought, even for once, that he might have to use it.

Why had he thought this was a good idea again?

Quickly, he scurried behind the nearest tree he could find, praying for protection and camouflage from the dark. Breathed out through pursed lips, swallowed again as the enemy drew closer, and closer. He squeezed his weapon so hard he became scared it was going to break, and closed his eyes, just for a second. A breeze blew by him, and he could feel a sneeze rising in his throat, creeping into his nose. Desperately, he raised his hand to his mouth and inwardly cursed, colourfully. No, no, not now, anytime but now-

He sneezed, and the footsteps stopped. An owl flew from its perch, and a scatter of birds rose up into the skies, the deathly delicate silence of the night abruptly interrupted. Felix’s heart stopped, and when it came back, it was racing so fast all he could feel was a loud hum, beating through his chest.

The click of a gun resonated through the air.

Tears pricked his eyes, and he brought the blade closer to his chest as he turned his gaze up to the skies, stifling a sob. He didn’t want to die – no, not like this. A scene of his family filled his consciousness, of the last time he ever saw them: his two sisters, Olivia waving her arms about violently, her smile wide but wavering, and Rachel’s grimace as she offered a small wave – barely the twitch of a hand, but it was still something. His mother crying as he’d left aboard the ship, holding onto his hand before she’d finally had to let go, the ruthless, closely watching guards shoving her off. Then, as he’d looked back one last time, he’d seen his father, wheelchair-bound, smiling sadly as his eyes glistened.

Felix had held his tears until he got onto the ship, until his family was clear out of view.

It looked like this was the end, huh? All that work he’d put, into his dreams, his hopes, and all his memories – it was all for nothing, wasn’t it? The thought almost made him slightly calmer, as finally, he decided to accept his fate. After all, he supposed, everyone died in the end. In fact, he knew that it was highly likely that everyone back at camp could die within the spam of the following week, all the friends that he’d made, and a feeling of sorrow filled him.

Well, he sure wasn’t going down without a damn fight.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, he leapt out and blindly slashed at the enemy, who was clearly caught off guard as he backed away, managing to fire a shot before Felix, his whole body trembling, inadvertently dug his dagger at a trunk, catching it within its wood before the other kicked at him in his gut, knocking him to the ground. Felix gasped as his body slammed into the rocky ground, and the coldness of a metal gun dug into his temple.

He let loose a small sob, then another, as his eyes squeezed close and his shaking hands clasped into a fist, bracing for another bang, and then the incomprehensible pain he knew he was about to suffer. And then, of course, the worst of all: nothingness. He gave out another weak, pathetic sob. He could’ve maybe fight back, and say he fought to his last, dying breath, but it would’ve been futile.

Yet, the all-too-familiar resonant bang never sounded.

Instead, he felt the foe relax his grip on the cursed firearm, before sitting back, onto the ground. His gun was still pointed at Felix, of course, but yet he made no effort to squeeze the trigger.

Felix peeks at the figure, most of him concealed within the darkness of the night, and then stares at him. The other glanced up at the sky, maybe at the full moon, then back at Felix, whom his gun was still pointed at, and sighed, clearly grimacing.

“I should shoot you,” he muttered, and Felix saw that his gun was shaking. Now that his head had cleared up a bit more, Felix realised that the stranger could only be around his own age. Maybe a little shorter than him, too.

Then, something Felix only thought happened in books and movies ensued; his enemy lowered his gun, tucked in into his pocket, and slowly stepped away, looking down as Felix gaped at him.

“Wait-” Felix breathed, and the stranger looked up at him, cracking a small smile.

“Are you seriously going to complain?” he said softly, a smile tugging on the edge of his lips as Felix continued to stare in perplexion. “Just, try not to shoot me on the battlefield or something,” the stranger murmured, and then he was off, into the dark of the layers and layers of trees and bush.

Felix just stared, until the squawking of a bird overhead shook him into his senses, and he slowly got up and trudged back to camp.

 

 

“Report?”

“Nothing, sir.”

“Absolutely nothing, is that correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then why is it that I’ve heard reports of gunshots during the night, the night you had scouting duty, from the exact location that you’d have been last night? Especially since you happened to leave your gun,” the man twirled the pistol around his index finger, before clutching it again, “under your pillow?”

Felix swallowed, doing all the best he could to retain eye contact with Commander Chan, and watched as the commander’s eyes narrowed considerably.

“I-I’m not too sure, sir. Maybe it was f-from the enemy camp?” he stuttered, swallowing again. Sweat broke out from his forehead, and he inwardly grimaced. Was it even possible to be this bad at lying?

Bang Chan eyed him, for maybe a good dozen seconds, before sighing and handing the pistol back to him, which Felix, nervously and fumblingly, accepts.

“Look, kid,” he clasped Felix’s shoulder and glanced at the dreary scene of the war camp, before setting his eyes back at Felix. “I like you, I really do. You remind me a lot of when I was younger, around the same age as you, y’know? But you really gave us all a scare when those shots rang out the middle of the night, alright? And I know, we might as well all die tomorrow, but jeez, kid.” He sighs again, and Felix starts fidgeting on the hem of his coat. “I’ll give you the benefit of doubt this time, ‘suppose because I’m just glad you made it back in one piece. Be careful, alright? And if you seriously see anything, if anything happens – tell me, okay?”

Felix nods, somewhat violently, and the commander lets go.

“Take care of yourself, Felix.” He says, and Felix only nods again before his dismissed with the wave of a hand, and he scurries back to his tent. Then, as he’s surrounded by his friends, who embrace him and voice their worries, he wonders why he hadn’t told the commander about the stranger. Nothing would’ve been lost if he had, and he’d risked a whole lot just by telling lies.

He doesn’t really know, to be honest. He doesn’t know at all.


	2. Chapter 2

~ 2 ~

 

The next time they met, lightning had flashed through the night, thunder was booming above them, and the clouds started to darken and smother the stars. They’d both looked up, and despite being unbeknownst to each other’s presence, groaned simultaneously.

Except this time, their roles reversed.

Felix was perched upon a tree, a sturdy old oak one, scowling as he lowered his binoculars to find the moon’s light itself being slowly concealed, little by little, until all was completely black. Averting his gaze from the bleak skies, he propped a foot to a lower branch, grasped at another bough to his right, and gripped the thick trunk, carefully readying himself to slide down the old jagged wood. He’d get a few cuts here and there, of course, but like hell he wanted to die of hypothermia in the middle of the night, in hostile territory, a corpse forever in these cursed woods. Maybe he’ll become fossilized, like the dinosaurs they were taught about at school. He let out a weak chuckle at the thought – he’d despised his old school so much, with its tall walls and glowering teachers, but when it’s been bombed he’d still cried, along with so, so many others. He shook his head. Anyways, to the task at hand.

Then, a trail of footsteps from afar. Hurried ones, crashing through the foliage no doubt in order to get to cover, to safety. In the direction, of course, in the enemy camp. And whoever he was, he was headed directly in Felix’s direction, and Felix’s grip on the trunk was steadily slipping.

And Lee Felix had never really been one for rationality. Ever. His mind raced, he came to a plan, and without thinking much else about it, he did it.

So that’s why when the figure burst out into the clearing whose Felix’s tree, as well as Felix himself resided, and hurried towards exactly under where Felix was perched, Felix’s first thought was that he should jump down on the person, and tackle him to the ground. Ignoring the fact that he might completely miss, the fact that it was at least a two-metre drop, and the fact that he might as well kill both of them in the process, and the fact that if he just held on a little more the for could pass and they could go on their separate ways, peacefully enough, he basically propels himself off the tree, and down, down.

And the poor stranger’s hand flew to his holster as he glances up, only to be suddenly knocked and crashed to the ground, as if the skies were falling. Hastily, Felix grasped his unfortunate captive’s arms and held them together, behind his back, as he’d also been taught over and over. But when the figure made no move to struggle, or even cry out, it then occurred to him, in dread, that the person might’ve snapped a neck, or something and died, and he fretfully turned him around and checked his pulse, by his neck. For a terrifying second, Felix felt nothing, before he realised he was feeling the wrong part and the individual appeared to simply be out cold.

He breathed a sigh of relief, but it sure didn’t last long.

Because the rain thickened. Until now both Felix and the limp body was drenched, with just trees in sight, camp being a couple of kilometres away, which had to be at least an hour even at a slow jog.

He looked up, got droplets in his eyes, and then looked back down. Yet, despite the world deciding that it was against him, he was filled with an odd sense of determination, and he remembered how just a few nights before, he’d been spared for literally no reason, how the gun had lowered and the supposedly ruthless enemy they’d been warned so much about walking away, leaving him relatively unscathed. Yes, maybe the guy’s country had bombed his own, killed so many of his distant family and even some of his friends, blew up town after town, but looking down at the pitiful fallen soldier, his face twisted with unrest and mud covering him from head to toe, raindrops splattering upon his pale face, Felix could even muster up a trace of malevolence.

Felix rolled his eyes and threw the body onto his back, grunting as he almost fell down at the weight, and then proceeded to half-trip over a rock wedged within the ground, before finally managing to start jogging, nowhere in particular.

If he was going to die tonight, he vowed, he wasn’t going to do so without saving the stranger lying like a ragdoll on his back.

 

 

When Changbin awakes, he immediately notes three things: 1. it was cold, and his limbs were sore, but there was a heavy khaki coat slung over him 2. it was dark, so dark he could hardly see a metre in front of him, and he blinked, attempting to adjust, and 3. there was someone else, beside him, turned away, who had the symbol of an eagle in flight sewn onto his pale grey shirt. Someone from the other side.

He shifts, struggling to prop himself upright, and the person whips around, and hurriedly sets about helping him up, grabbing at the coat, which’d slipped off his shoulders, and wraps around him. But then Changbin turned stiff, and his breath hitched in his throat, as he gaped at the face that gazed back, which was laced with worry.

Him. It’s him, the one he’d spared the night of the full moon.

 

 

“Hey, you feeling alright?” Felix asked, though the other seemed to avoid his gaze, instead scanning over the scene in which they were inhabiting, the rocky, disintegrating walls of the little hole in the cliff face, then the downpour outside, then finally back at Felix, though he still stubbornly refused to meet his eyes. Felix shrugged it off.

“Yea, yea, I’m fine,” the crouched figure replied, fingers now clutching the coat that draped over him. It was Felix’s coat, but he’d figured the other needed it more than he did, as he’d done a good couple hundred metres of running anyways. He hoped he wouldn’t notice him shivering so much one could think he was having an epileptic fit.

“No cracked bones or anything?”

The boy cocked his head. “Why would there be broken bones, exactly?”

Felix gave an awkward smile, an awkward chuckle. “Uh, about that. I kinda leapt on you, after you ran under the tree those branch I was crouched on. I don’t even know. I kinda panicked, ‘cos I was slipping, too.”

The stranger’s gaze flickers up to meet Felix’s, just momentarily, before glancing back down and smiling a small smile, probably in amusement. “And what happened after that?”

“Oh, then you blacked out, and it started pouring, and I couldn’t really leave you there because otherwise you’d die, and so I carried you about until I found this convenient little cave-hole-thing. It’s like, a crack between two boulders, though I couldn’t really see either, because of the pouring rain.” A drop of water splats upon his head, and he hastily shuffles away, glaring up at the crack in the roof with suspicion.

“Anyways,” he continues, looking back at the boy beside them, holding out his hand. “I’m Lee Felix. Nice to meet you.”

The stranger stares at it for a second, in hesitation, before slowly bringing his hand out to meet Felix’s. They shake hands.

“Changbin,” said the enemy, who was now had a name. “Seo Changbin.”

Felix lets out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. “I think it’s nice to not be trying to kill each other, for once,” he comments, just casually, and Changbin lets out a short laugh. “I’ll drink to that,” he says, softly, and then holds up an imaginary shot glass. Felix joins, clinking their glasses together and both downing the shot, laughing when they finished. Felix inches a tad closer to Changbin, until their shoulders were touching, but the other boy didn’t seem to mind at all. They gazed out at the endless downpour, and Felix sighed.

“Hey,” said Changbin, suddenly. “Aren’t you cold?”

“Nah,” said Felix, lips blue and every inch of his skin covered in goosebumps.

“Hang on a second,” Changbin muttered. “Isn’t this your coat?”

Felix tried to protest as Changbin threw the coat off, and shoved in Felix’s arms. “Put it on, geez,” he says, and then fumbles through the contents within the satchel that hung by his belt.

“Ha,” he says. “There we go.” He threw a small rectangular red box onto the ground and then got up, walking over to the corners and pulling out twigs and sticks and dried leaves, as Felix watched curiously. “Are those matches?” he inquired, head tilted as Changbin crouched down to pull out another twig rooted in the rock, and dig out another clump of dried leaves. The boy nodded in response, and as Felix opened his mouth he said, “they’re waterproof, the boxes. All us scouts are required to carry them around,” and Felix clamped his mouth shut, nodded though Changbin couldn’t possibly see him, and then set about helping Changbin.

 

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon – aha! Quick quick quick quick-”

“Geez, this would be lot easier if you weren’t screaming right into my ears, y’know?”

“Careful, careful, now.”

“Uh, creepily whispering into my ear really isn’t that much of an improvement.”

Then, a spark, and then, a flitter of bright red and orange, dancing among the brown, and they both involuntarily let out a shriek. It grows, grows, until finally, it’s taken up most of the inner leaves, spreading out to the sticks that held the structure of a campfire up, and it lights up the little cave, until they were finally able to see each other properly. A pile of broken, snapped and burnt matchsticks that’d failed them lay in a pile beside them, and Felix grabbed a handful and threw them into the blaze.

“I don’t believe it,” Changbin whispered, awestruck, both their gazes still intently captivated on the flame. “It actually worked.”

“You didn’t think so?” Felix exclaimed.

“Nah, these matches are terrible. They have, like, a ten-percent success rate.”

“Oh.”

“That was the last match, wasn’t it?”

“Yup.”

Changbin hummed, slowly nodding. “We’re probably going to die today anyways,” he commented, and Felix sighed, leaning his head against Changbin’s shoulder like they’d known each other since forever.

And Changbin doesn’t seem to mind at all.

“Probably.”

 

Now that there was light, Changbin felt his gaze flicker over to Felix’s, and found himself studying his face. He doesn’t know how stuff like that happens, really, but once he was staring, he couldn’t seem to look away.

And this was going to be his downfall, he realised in that moment, eyes trailing from his eyes, to his goddamn freckles, that and then to those damn lips. He seemed to almost sparkle, his eyes shining as he gazed at the blazing flame’s mesmerizing little dance. Then, his freckles – they looked like a constellation, of stars and galaxies, scattered across his beautiful face, and it was officially the cutest thing he’d ever witnessed in his life. And then his fucking lips-

Felix suddenly looks up at him, and Changbin abruptly turns away, staring intently as the fire as he cleared his throat. The blonde-haired boy’s gaze rested upon him for a moment more before he turned away, and all was silent again, aside from the crashing storms.

Man, he felt warmer already. How peculiar.

 

The fire goes out, but they’ll be okay, being reasonably dry enough. Not enough to be comfortable, perhaps, but maybe enough to not die. And that alone, in that moment, is all they really needed.

“Why’d you save me?”

Changbin broke the silence that’d settled upon them. They’re both staring at the ashes and cinders, at all that was left of the fire, and now Changbin was leaning against Felix, head fit snug in the crook of Felix’s neck. It’s nice, this position, he thinks dazedly. The other boy radiates warmth in the midst of the cold, and he shuffles a little closer.

Felix sighed. “I don’t know. I felt responsible, because I was responsible for you blacking out. And if I left you there – I can’t even imagine it. I’d spend my entire life regretting it, that’s what would happen. Anyhow, I got saved by one of you guys the other day. Now to think of it,” Felix turned to fully look at Changbin. “He looked kinda like you.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yea. It was dark, though. You don’t happen to have a twin, or brother or something?”

Changbin finally let the loose laugh bubbling in his throat. “That was me, idiot,” he says, grinning as he watched Felix’s perplexed face. “The night of the full moon. I was supposed to shoot you, because like, you were trespassing our territory and you were the enemy and all, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.” The laughter catches in his throat, and he swallows, averting his gaze. Felix watches him, curiously.

Changbin sighs, and clears his throat.

“…and, why’d you let me go?” Felix says, softly.

…

“I almost did, did pull the trigger, Felix,” Changbin muttered, after a long silence. “I almost did. I was supposed to. If anyone found out I let you go, they’d kill me on the spot. Your people had killed my family, my best friends…and I knew that.” He takes a shuddering breath – inhales, exhales, looks back at Felix and their eyes met. Changbin attempted his best smile, though it wavered and trembled. “It’s good I didn’t, huh?”

There’s a small silence.

Then Felix slots their hands together, and Changbin freezes. Their fingers are cold, freezing and trembling, but somehow, when they entwined their hands together it seems to warm each other up. Felix gently squeezed Changbin’s hand, and Changbin lay there like a mannequin, stiff and not daring to move and in disbelief of reality.

“I think it was nice of you not to kill me,” Felix replies, and Changbin lets out a weak giggle, giddy with nervousness. And then they huddled a little closer, and shared each other’s warmth, Felix sighing as he leaned against Changbin, their backs against the hard, jagged stone walls.

 

They watched the rain, for a long, long time. Maybe hours – but none of them had a watch, and it was hard to keep track.

 

“I don’t think the rain’s going to stop anytime soon.”

“Hmm.”

“Wanna go to sleep?”

“What if someone finds us?”

Felix looked out at the rain.

“Then they find us,” he replied, shrugging as he got up, pulling Changbin with him.  

They lay out a bed of discarded wet leaves and soil, and then lay upon it, pulling Felix’s heavy jacket over them as a duvet. It mightn’t have been the most comfortable setup in the world, but for now, it could do. It was a silent unanimous decision that they had to sleep, together, side by side – they both knew they would freeze if they didn’t. Like any of them were complaining, though. And so there they lay. Felix slung an arm around Changbin, and pulled him closer, despite Changbin’s mumblings. Changbin became suddenly conscious of his heartbeat, which he could feel for sure that Felix could feel, as well as his staggering breathing and sweaty palms, as cold and rigid as they were.  

Alas, Felix didn’t seem to mind his presence, and before long he was nodding off, his eyelids closing and his consciousness slipping from his body. And that night, he slept oddly well, the best he’d slept in a long, long time.

 

And there they were – two lost souls, trapped together by either the storm or simply, fate, two broken pieces connecting in a chance encounter, like two stray puzzle pieces bumping each other after a lifetime of wandering.

And they fit.

 

 

Changbin awoke the following day, and detangled himself from the heavily sleeping mess of limbs that was Lee Felix, and watched him. The sun had come out, finally, and the storm had passed, and Changbin admired the way that the rays of sun reflected off Felix’s face, wondering how he could look that ethereal in such early hours of the morning.  

But alas, he had to leave.

Gathering up his belongings, including the empty red box of matches and his holster, gun in toll, careful not to awake the sleeping boy. Then he stepped out, and trekked down into the expanse of trees and bush with a heavy heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone has anyone alternative summaries, please donate to a poor child who cant write summaries lol

**Author's Note:**

> and despite my vow to stick to one-shots because i can never finish these chapter stories, here I am  
> anyhow, next chapter'll be longer


End file.
